Note to white allies: Stop comparing your experience with a marginalization to PoC’s experience.
Repeat after me:
IF I AM WHITE, MY MARGINALIZATIONS ARE ALWAYS COLORED BY MY WHITENESS.
Say it again.
Say it a third time.
Say it a FIFTIETH TIME.
No matter what marginalization you have, your experience is tainted by your whiteness. You get the BEST average experiences in your marginalization, and you CONSISTENTLY forget this when you generalize and assume that your experience is the norm.
This goes for ALL marginalizations. There is NO marginalization in this world where white people do not receive the BEST average experiences of the group. If there is success in the group, it will be YOU. On the SMALL chance that one of you is attacked, your justice will be more often than not delivered to your door in a timely fashion. When someone discusses “group” issues, they will discuss YOUR issues, often leaving out any additional issues that people who are NOT you experience. There are experiences PoC go through that you will never even know existed, that you will not be required to know exist, and that you will ERASE repeatedly because you never knew and never cared to find out.
And here’s another thing you don’t know, white people:
Sometimes the experiences of PoC in a non-racial marginalization will be so COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to yours that you will literally have NO idea what they actually go through. SO different that it will sometimes be damn near in OPPOSITION to the information you’ve been hearing!
NEVER assume that your white experiences can be correlated to PoC experiences. NEVER assume that you have anything in common with all or most people along your marginalization. Most PoC within a certain race have more in common with each other, over ALL other marginalizations, than a white person in 2-3 of the SAME marginalizations will have with them.
THAT IS WHITENESS.