“I’m not sure if it came from Naomi Wolf’s critique of ‘victim feminism’ or if it’s simply another painful part of the backlash, designed as an attempt to further weaken and silence women’s voices and experiences, but somewhere in there we’ve managed to develop an understanding that to be feminist means you must be flawless.
I imagine most of us have encountered people who’ve tried to take away your feminist card because they decided that your thoughts or behaviours or actions didn’t fit with their understanding of what a feminist should be like in real life. And I’m not talking about actions that perpetuate patriarchal oppression or misogynist behaviour — I suppose you could (at least temporarily) lose your feminist card for that — I’m talking about the idea that somehow feminists are or should be able to avoid the regular old life crap that everyone else has to deal with. That we don’t make mistakes or bad choices or end up in less-than-feminist relationships. That we don’t experience the same feelings of heartache or sadness or pain or depression that everyone else does. Because we are supposedly ‘strong women’, displaying or admitting that we are weak or vulnerable at times is often used against us…” Read More