Posts tagged interracial relationships.

Thissss. #Misfits

On the WSJ’s “An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage”

An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage

So every couple of months (and EVERY FUCKING valentines day), someone over at some magazine/newspaper/morning news show decides to write something about how “black women are the partners least desired by non-black men”/ “Black women are the most unmarried group in America”. Here’s that same article you may have read before rehashed over at the WSJ.

The “new angle” of this article is the suggestion that black women can “fix” their “marriage problem” by dating interracially. You know, cuz all we think about is our existence in terms of marriage, we are waking problems, we only think about teh marriage with teh menz and none of us ever want women, or multiple men, or to just be…

This piece by SharkFu sums up my annoyance: Notes from a bitch…a problem in search of a fix or a fix in search of a problem…

Full disclosure #1 – I don’t have a problem with the interracial dating angle. I’ve actually mentioned diversifying dating options to friends who bring up dating woes.

My problem is with the fix, but before I get to that…

Full disclosure #2 – I am not married, I’m not looking to get married, and my non-married state is not a problem.

My people call it being single.

What if…just once for kicks and giggles…we skipped blaming black women for [insert thing that may or may not actually be a problem but, should it be determined to truly be a problem, most certainly got to be a problem because of something black women did or didn’t do or attempted to do but ended up doing wrong] and actually explored a topic?

I know…outrageous!

But what the heck…let’s get zany and give it a spin.

Not all black women want to get married, not all black women can get married, and not all black women should get married.

Just like everyone in the world doesn’t want to get married, everyone in the world isn’t able to get married, and a lot of people out there shouldn’t get married.

….

As for the reasons the author cites for black women perhaps being reluctant to date outside of our race…like what our babies may look like or having to explain our hair…I’m still trying to figure out how the hell he walked right past the giant History of Sexualization & Exploitation of Black Women in America elephant in the damn room.

Contrary to a scenario mentioned in the article, my hair hasn’t been a hurdle to romance or sex or commitment.

Being told more than once that a prospective date has “always wanted to try a black chick” is.

That brings me to Full Disclosure #3!

I have a problem…it involves being seen as a walking, talking, breathing problem.

Fix it.

And on a personal note, just last week I had a similar encounter with a white guy who wanted to go out on a date.

Dear white guys, file this under ways to never get a date with me: “I wanted to talk to you…and get a taste of the dark side” -.-

#nope