You see something stupid. You hear something stupid. You read something stupid = Yeah,TNTG. Posts tagged women.
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“It’s important to clarify that sex education that teaches about pleasure doesn’t have to teach about technique (though elective college-level sex education that does this is great). Letting teens know that women usually achieve orgasm through the rubbing of the clitoris, whether fingers, mouth, object, or penis, isn’t the same as screening an instructional video on giving good cunnilingus. It’s not the same as writing down the names of sex-toy shops on the blackboard, or handing out diagrams of cool and exciting coital positions. And teaching that lubricants reduce pain and increase safety and pleasure during many kinds of sex should be thought of not as performance advice, but on par with vital lessons about condom use.
Real sex education is not the same as porn education. Instead, it’s about teaching that pleasure is an important part of any sexual relationship. It’s about teaching that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexual pleasure and seeking it out, so long as it is done safely and responsibly. It’s about teaching comfort with one’s body and a lack of shame over desires, and there is more to sex for all people than sticking penises into vaginas. Real sex education teaches how to go about making intelligent , safe choices, rather than just stating the choices available. I believe there is a big difference. And I believe that teaching teens to make smart choices about sex must involve teaching them that having sex, partnered or alone, can be a smart choice”.
“The way we see it, the sister is also a revolutionary, and she has to be able to defend herself, just like we do. She has to learn to shoot, just like we do. Because the pigs in the system don’t care that she’s a sister; they brutalize her just the same.” Bobby Seale
Oh, great! Let’s talk some more about how women aren’t funny. Science has performed yet another study of terrible people, and—surprise!—unearthed terrible results: Apparently women in the workplace are incapable of making funny jokes. Men’s jokes, on the other hand, receive laughs 90% of the time. The reason? Well, science checked with conventional wisdom, and conventional wisdom explained that “Men in general are the ‘funnier sex.’” COOL STORY, BROS. TELL IT AGAIN.
A study of executive-level meetings at seven large companies in the UK (half of the meetings were led by women, half by men) found drastic differences in both the types of jokes told by each gender and the general response to those jokes:
Women often resort to self-deprecating humor, with 70 percent of female senior professionals joking about themselves in a somewhat negative light, Baxter’s research found, as reported in the Telegraph. Still, this didn’t seem to earn chuckles: More than 80 percent of women’s jokes were met with silence. Meanwhile, 90 percent of jokes made by men were greeted with immediate laughter or approval. As a result, men were three times more likely to joke while leading a meeting.
Now, I don’t have any problem with this study, per se. It’s just a collection of data verifying a phenomenon that we’re all aware of, which is that nobody thinks women are funny and nobody laughs at women’s jokes. My problem is with the reporting on this study, and others like it, which, without fail, credulously latches on to a titillating but fundamentally sexist notion: that women might just be biologically less funny than men.
SFGate, for example, makes sure to consult some fucking guy:
Michael Kerr, a motivational speaker and expert on humor in the workplace, says this is due in part to how men and women are socialized.
“I know with my own surveys, and other research I’ve read, that both sexes tend to agree that men in general are the ‘funnier sex,’ ” he says in an e-mail interview. “What seems to be a consistent theme is that men are more likely to be humor creators, whereas women tend to appreciate the humor more and laugh more easily than men do.”
Even a psychology study published in 2011 by UC San Diego concluded that men were slightly funnier than women.
No. It is not due “in part” to how men and women are socialized. It is due entirely to how men and women are socialized. Oh, but “psychology” says men are the funniest? Well, I guess we’re done here! It certainly couldn’t be that women just shut up and laugh because we’re trained from birth that we’re supposed to be pleasant, pliable, and inoffensive, and that we should pander to men at all times lest we be labeled an undesirable. No, the obvious explanation is that every time a woman tries to tell a joke, an invisible dream-catcher telescopes out of her vagina and snatches it from the air. Science.
You know what? It’s true, actually. Most women aren’t funny. But that’s because most PEOPLE aren’t funny. Being funny is like any other artistic skill, but to wield it successfully requires outspokenness, unapologetic honesty, supreme self-assuredness, and an outright refusal to pander. And those aren’t exactly the traits we foster in our little girls. (Instead, we go with mistrust of other women, an extreme longing for expensive garbage, and the idea that being pretty is more important than being smart. Oh, here’s your toy, girls, it’s a fake baby that poops fake poop into a fake diaper for you to fake clean up. Have fun “playing.”) We don’t jump to these conclusions when it comes to any other skill. Women aren’t encouraged to be auto mechanics either, so most auto mechanics aren’t women, but only the most misogynistic dumbass would suggest that it’s because our tiny woman-brains are broom-shaped instead of wrench-shaped. The reason that people don’t respond well to women’s self-deprecating jokes is because they don’t read as jokes. They read as uncomfortable confessions. Because our society trains women to hate themselves.
Men are told from birth that their ideas are just as important as their bodies. Men are encouraged to be bold and loud—throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks over and over again—and that’s exactly where great comedy comes from. Comedy clubs are almost always run by men, and they’re safe spaces for men. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a male host introduce a female comic by saying, “And here’s your obligatory girl comic for the night!” Any female comics who are bold enough show up have to sit through 87 shitty, “edgy” jokes about how they deserve to be raped and murdered for not liking video games enough. (A completely run-of-the-mill example I heard recently: “Last night I brought this girl home, but she was being really loud during sex, so I told her, ‘Sssshhh, you don’t want to turn this rape into a murder!’”) It is a deeply uncomfortable environment—and I say that not as a shy, funny girl at her first open-mic, but as a woman who’s already achieved a certain level of comedic credibility. And then the conclusion, when successful male comics outnumber successful female comics 10:1? Obviously it’s because women just aren’t funny. Not like my rape jokes! I’m a maverick!
So, I’m a woman, and I’m really fucking funny all the time.
(Attention, trolls: I know that you are so excited about this big, gaping troll-hole I just presented to you, and you can’t wait to tell me that you don’t think I’m funny and you could do my job better than me. That is totally fine. A lot of people don’t think I’m funny. But enough people DO think I’m funny that they give me money to be funny. So unless people give you money to be funny, I am probably funnier than you. The end.)
I’m the person who this streak of conventional wisdom contends doesn’t exist. And in my experience, that’s exactly what being a funny woman feels like—it feels like you do not exist. (I also have a somewhat gender-ambiguous name, which means that I get frequent e-mails from readers assuming I am a man.) I spend a lot of my time hanging out with comedians, which means that I spend a lot of my time being ignored, not looked at, and talked over by men who are less funny than I am. To be heard, you have to shout, and when you shout, you’re a bitch. Being a funny woman is also extremely de-feminizing. If you don’t act “like a woman,” then you don’t count as a woman. Which, I suspect, is why so many female comedians lean on “woman jokes”—my vibrator! My mother-in-law! My vibrating chocolate mother-in-law!—rather than just telling, you know, human being jokes. Because we don’t want the boys to take away our woman-cards. And those are the women with enough faith in their own comic abilities to actually attempt stand-up comedy. Your average business-casual lady in the break room? Forget it.
Bottom line: When a male comic bombs at an open-mic it’s because that dude sucks at comedy. When a female comic bombs at an open-mic it’s because all women are naturally unfunny. And if you believe that, then I feel sorry for you, because your brain sucks. And also because you’re going to miss out on a lot of really fucking great jokes.
“ I don’t think it’s terribly controversial to note that women, from a young age, are required to consider the reality of the opposite gender’s consciousness in a way that men aren’t. This isn’t to say that women don’t often misunderstand, mistreat, and stereotype men, both in literature and in life. But on a basic level, functioning in society requires that women register that men are fully conscious; it is not really possible for a woman to throw up her hands and write men off as eternally unknowable space aliens — and even if she says she has, she cannot really behave as though she has. Every element of her life — from reading books about boys and men to writing papers about the motivations of male characters to being attentive to her own safety to navigating most any institutional or professional or economic sphere — demands an ironclad familiarity with, and belief in, the idea that men really are fully human entities. And no matter how many men come to the same conclusions about women, the structure of society simply does not demand so strenuously that they do so. If you didn’t really deep down believe that women were, in general, exactly as conscious as you, you could probably still get by in life. You could probably still get a book deal. You could probably still get elected to office.
— Jennifer duBois, Writing Across Gender (via florida-uterati)
Street Art By BR1
why is this not on the tumblr radar
coz tumblr radar is for white people and their boring work
me likey
one of the most awesomest things I’ve ever seen. this deserves way more than just being on tumblr radar!!!
The Top 6 Reasons Why You Should Hate Dan Savage
1. Dan Savage hates trans people and uses transphobic slurs.
“Children have a right to some stability and constancy from the adults in their lives. Perhaps I’m a transphobic bigot, but I honestly think waiting a measly 36 months to cut your dick is a sacrifice any father should be willing to make for his 15-year-old son. Call me old-fashioned.
Unfortunately, your ex wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice (selfish tranny!), or it never occurred to him to make that sacrifice (stupid tranny!)…. If your son can’t deal with having his dad/mom/whatever around right now, support him and tell his dad/mom/whatever to leave the two of you alone for the time being.”
2. Dan Savage believes that bisexuals do not and should not exist.
“I’m not saying bi guys are bad people, or they don’t make great one-night stands. Bushes, bathhouses, and sleazy gay bars are crawling with bi guys. But if a guy wants more, he’ll have an easier time getting it from another gay man.”
3. Dan Savage has admonished women for not putting up with their partner’s sexual desires and has criticized female rape survivors’ stories.
“There the guy was, boned for you, and he was brave enough to put his desires out there, to make himself vulnerable (which is what the ladies are always saying they want, right?), and you lobbed the ol’ “What?!?” bomb at him and made him feel like a freak. Is it any wonder that he quickly moved on to “other things” and, one would hope, better sex partners?”
“I’m extremely sorry that you were raped, DRARS, although your baseless accusations of rape make me doubt you when you claim to be a survivor of rape. The feminist bloggers are going to accuse me of thought crimes: If a woman says she was raped then, by God, she was raped. (Tell it to the lacrosse team.) But if my reaction to your letter is a thought crime, I can only plead entrapment: I wouldn’t have had these illegal thoughts if you hadn’t sent me such a stupid letter in the first place… Finally, DRARS, I hereby withdraw my consent for you to read Savage Love. If you continue to read my column against my will, well, we all know what word to apply to your actions.”
4. Dan Savage thinks that racist gay white men are less of a threat to African-Americans than homophobic African-Americans are to gay people.
EDIT: The quote below is indeed Dan’s response to Prop 8 and black homophobia, I have added some more of the senseless shit that has spewed out of his mouth so that no one will be confused as to how much of an asshole he is:
“I do know this, though: I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color…I’ll eat my shorts if gay and lesbian voters went for McCain at anything approaching the rate that black voters went for Prop 8.”
EDIT: Here are some more lovely gems from our resident asshole Dan Savage on his rampant hatred for everything not white, male, and gay:
5. Dan Savage thinks asexuals are secretly “fags”.
“I appreciate the feedback, Stephanie, and I’m sorry I offended you. But… um… I couldn’t help but think, as I read your letter, that your boyfriend is either a fool or a fag. But if it works for you guys—if a romantic relationship devoid of sexual attraction and activity works for you guys—then it works for you guys. Who am I to argue with success?”
6. Dan Savage is fatphobic.
“First off, LARDASS, you neglected to include a sign-off, forcing me to create one for you. I tried to create one that captured the spirit and tone of your letter, and I think I did pretty well… I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as ‘hate speech.’”
” As everyone began to chime in with support and tales of similar things that had happened to them, we all got so sad, and so MAD. It dawned on us that you can take any random group of girls and women, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them will have multiple stories of terrible things that were said to them and done to them on the street by strangers, as a matter of course. Just the normal state of affairs when you are out in public, being female. Like, we’re not special. This happens to everybody.
We’re publishing that conversation here today. If you’re not a girl, you might be surprised to learn what all your female friends go through. It might help you understand why we don’t think it’s cute or cool or flattering to be hollered at, commented on, ogled, or groped as we just try to get from one place to another. This wasn’t a conversation we had for the public—this was just what came out when we talked about this stuff in private. Any girl you know can tell you her own horror stories, if you’re willing to listen…”
As a feminist who enjoys a lot of genres that aren’t usually…
As a feminist who enjoys a lot of genres that aren’t usually lady-friendly, it always irks me when people claim they have strong, feminist characters in their stories, but in reality they’re neither of those things. Sometimes a character’s qualities are debatable, but I wanted to make a list of things that don’t necessarily make a strong female character:
1) She is a woman/girl. Okay, so you created a female character. That’s a good start. But even Bella Swan from Twilight is a woman and I wouldn’t call her a good representation of feminism and modern womanhood. Is your character reflective of real women, or is she part of a stereotype? Do you even know the kinds of problems real women face? Does she face appropriate obstacles?
2) She can kill people, ergo she is a strong woman. Being a strong woman does not necessarily mean she can bash in skulls or toss people across the room. It means that she is psychologically, emotionally, and sometime physically well developed and can hold her own against opponents. Yes, it is refreshing to see female characters that are not physically wimpy and dependent, but if her character isn’t fully fleshed out, she’s just a tool. Try to make your female characters as complex and realistic in the story as possible.
3) She is a feminist. Okay, who says she’s a feminist? You, or her actions? Being a feminist is more than just saying “I’m a feminist.” Does she illuminate women’s issues during her story arc? Does she legitimately stand for all women’s rights, or just a stereotype of women’s rights (i.e. fauxminism)? Don’t make a straw feminist (see Feminist Frequency’s video on the Straw Feminist).
4) She doesn’t act like other women. Okay, this is really common in genres like fantasy and scifi, and it’s really problematic. First, you are assuming that all women act in a certain manner, which is not the case. Second, this most likely means that you are not writing a female character, you are writing a male character with boobs. This isn’t necessarily a good representation of womanhood. The point of avoiding stereotypes and cliches when writing for a female character is not to eliminate femininity and womanhood, but instead to adopt a more enlightened and diverse perspective on womanhood. Many things factor into a woman’s life that make her unique from other women. You have to consider things like class, race, culture, situation, history, and other perspectives that you design for her. This is also why it’s important to have multiple women in any story, because if you write five very diverse male characters but only one female character, it is easy to assume from the audience’s perspective that all women behave as that one female character does, and this is part of why sexism is so prevalent in media today.
5) She is the main character. Again, this kind of goes back to point #1. It is great to have women in main roles instead as just a sidekick or love interest, but if she isn’t a well developed, strong, and complex character, there’s really no point for her to even exist, other than to maybe be eye candy or a foil for a scenario.
I could go on and on and on forever and ever about sexism in media, mostly in fantasy, scifi, and horror (which are my favorite genres), but that would take way too long and I have to make a taco pizza (that’s a pizza with taco ingredients for toppings, if you were wondering). If you’re interested in this sort of stuff like I am, then check out Feminist Frequency. They offer great videos on a variety of topics concerning women in media. These were mostly just some tips I wanted to offer for young writers, film makers, game designers, comic artists, and other crafters of media about handling women in media. If people like this post, I may consider doing one for queer people, too…
“ How many men have walked to their cars holding their keys like spikes between each knuckle? How many have stared into the faces of those they pass, willing themselves to memorize facial features in the event that they find themselves sitting across from a sketch-artist, drinking bad coffee, shaking, and explaining the bump of a nose or the curve of a chin? How many are made to feel like it is their job to catalog the shape of victimization, prove their pain, and alter their mental state to accommodate it? For how many men is this perversion their only expectation of normalcy?
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essence of my conversation with a dear friend over coffee. (via missl0nelyhearts)
seriously, guys. it’s almost impossible to understand the fear of sexual assault from our male perspective. start standing up to violence against women
(via davesmachine)
I was doing the key-thing since I was given house keys (somewhere in high school).
(via daskannnichtsein)
